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Put the mouse over, or click, the question mark to see the punch-line.
Tested with Internet Explorer 5.0 and Internet Explorer 4.04.
Why do singers always hang around outside the house?
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How many sax players does it take to change a light-bulb?
Six. One to change the light-bulb, and five ...
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How do you get to DeMontfort Hall?
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A jazz fan heard a familiar blues on the blues night, and thinking
she knew the writer, asked another listener:
"W. C. Handy?"
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How late does the band play?
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Deep in Africa, the safari group set up camp for the night.
As they were preparing for bed, they heard the jungle drums start up.
"What do the drums mean?" they asked the guide. "Don't
worry," came the reply, "the time to worry is when the drums
stop!". Further questioning on this got no response from the guide.
Next night the same happened, and the same question and answer were
given. "What does it mean if the drums stop?" the guide was
asked. "It's bad. Very, very bad ..." came the reply, but no
further information was forthcoming.
On the third night the routine was repeated. As the campers were
dropping off to sleep, suddenly the drums stopped. "What does
that mean?" pleaded the campers. The guide replied, "It's
very, very bad. When the drums stop...".
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How do you get an electric guitarist to play quietly?
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What's the definition of a gentleman?
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How do you tell if the stage is level?
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Mummy, mummy, when I grow up I want to be a drummer...
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How many opera singers does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to change the light-bulb, one to hold the step-ladder, and
...
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During the first day in a band
a player couldn't help noticing the trumpet player, an old man with
lots of white hair and a big white beard, dressed in what can only be
described as a sheet. When it came to the trumpet players first solo, it
was complete and utter rubbish. Our new player asked someone next to
her, "Who is that?".
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During an audition, the young hopeful sounded terrible.
The band-leader said, "Son, you've got a perfect ear....". |
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Saxophone ace Alan Barnes
tells this lovely story about being on tour with Glaswegian trumpeter
Bruce Adams. As you know, touring conditions are not good, staying at
B&Bs of varying quality, and sometimes even sharing a double bed.
Alan found out that after the gigs, Bruce would take him drinking until
the early hours. this wasn't so much of a problem, but Alan wasn't
getting much sleep as the only thing that Bruce did louder than play the
trumpet was to snore.
After about a week, Alan decided he needed his sleep. He slipped away
early from the drinking, and went to bed. The room was so small that the
two single beds were pushed next to each other, but at least it wasn't a
double. At about 2 a.m. he was briefly woken by Bruce returning, but
fell asleep again almost immediately. At about 4 a.m. Alan awoke again,
to find that somehow he had rolled over and was lying on top of Bruce,
nose-to-nose. At this moment Bruce woke up and said ... |
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What's the best sound you can get from a banjo?
Move the mouse over the banjo to find out.
(Works without a sound-card; better with). |
 E-mail
me (Chris) with your music jokes.
Oh, and please don't take any of these seriously. Top of
page. |
